Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
