This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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