dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
did you just send me my own nude
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
