Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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