Got a toothbrush?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
