Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
