They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
