Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
