I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
