birth control should be required to get into college
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
