The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
