And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
