just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
