some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
