im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's shark week go big or go home
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
