I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
