You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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