i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
