just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
