we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
