Having a random hookup so left but love u
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I deserve this hangover.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
