Me too!
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
