508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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