Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
