god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
