I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
