In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
