Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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