omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
