Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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