I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
