Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
