yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
