Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
