you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
