why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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