But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The uberlube is also flammable
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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