so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
