can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
