I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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