Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
