Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
