Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
