After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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