never play flip cup with pint glasses
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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