I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
