i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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