So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
