guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
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