so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
